The following is a depiction of a recent event with Kaiser Permanente that my friend, Sara (PBY), experienced. While I have never personally had this bad of an experience with the health care system in this country, it certainly makes me curious if I have just gotten lucky or if this is a very unfortunate exception. Does anyone else care to share a horror story?
***WARNING: This post is pretty long and she is understandably upset. If you’re sensitive about the F-bomb, don’t read.***
Step 1.) Call the appointment line at Kaiser to make an appointment and follow automated phone prompts. Confirm your health record #, address, phone # and explanation of why you need to see a doctor.
Step 2.) Get transferred to the “preferred physicians” department to select your preferred physician (even though you don’t give a fuck)
—HOLD————HOLD——–All our customer service representatives are currently busy. Thank you for your patience. —————HOLD————–
(15/20 min later)
Step 3.) Repeat everything in Step 1 and listen to the customer service rep explain that she doesn’t know which physicians are currently accepting new patients, but she’ll be happy to TRANSFER you to the department which does have that information
—HOLD————HOLD——–All our customer service representatives are currently busy. Thank you for your patience. —————HOLD————–
(20 min later)
Step 4.) Repeat everything in Steps 1 & 2. Confirm that yes, you would like to go to the Longmont clinic where you live (as should have been obvious in confirming address for 3rd time). Tell customer service rep that any doctor will be fine, you do not need to hear a reading of each of their bios (since you don’t give a fuck) then get transferred back to the first department in Step 1 to make your appointment.
—HOLD (but only for a couple minutes)
Step 5.) Repeat everything in Step 1 and confirm phone number. Listen as the customer service rep tells you your primary care physician is currently on maternity leave for a month but they will send a note to the Longmont facility and have a nurse call you back with any open appointment times they have.
Step 6.) Scream & slam phone receiver down. (it’s just a work phone, nobody cares)
Step 7.) Miss the phone call from nurse.
Step 8.) Listen to voicemail and cry as the nurse tells you to call the Kaiser appointment line again to make an appointment.
Step 9.) Follow automated phone prompts until you get to a customer service rep. Confirm info in Step 1 & relay nurse’s info. Get transferred to Longmont facility. Confirm info from Step 1 and hold for a moment.
Step 10.) Be grateful God stopped shitting on your face because you FINALLY have an appointment with some random doctor who didn’t just shit out a child! FUCK YEAH!!
I swear to everything holy this took at least an hour and half to do. What the FUCK is wrong with Kaiser!?!?! ASSHOLES
But wait, there’s more…
I forgot to mention that the lady in Step 1 told me that Kaiser really wouldn’t be able to give me advice on my ear since I went to a doctor outside their network and am taking ear drops that they didn’t prescribe. I of course told her that I have the drops and the prescription and I will bring them with me so the doctor can see what I’m taking. She was a little taken back by that, since, ya know, I didn’t get them from “the network”. Fucking Nazis!
Think that’s it? Think again!
Now that i’ve cooled off a bit i can tell you the end of the story:
I get to Kaiser and begin my check in process with the lady at the desk and she says “so we’ll send you a bill in the mail for this visit” and confusingly I respond “I don’t just pay my $20 co-pay or whatever at the end?”
Lady-”oh no, we’ll bill you for everything, and you’ll receive it in the mail in about 30 days or so.”
Me-”um, so how much will I be billed for?”
Lady-”ohhhh, this visit runs between $180- $250″
Having Kaiser through HWI and only having to pay $20 each time for the co-pay I’ve never really used insurance that had a “high deductible” so it took some serious explaining until I finally grasped what the fuck was going on. I told the nice lady that I could pay WAAAAY less at a clinic where I have no insurance than here where I have insurance, she said no I couldn’t to which I said, well I have and I think I’ll just go back there and pay $50 instead of $180. So she canceled my appointment and I left fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking pissed off. There is no way in hell I’ll ever reach my deductible so I think I’m going to cancel Kaiser and look around for something else. This is fucked up, why have I been paying for this service that’s not even a “service” to me! ARGH!
That is the end of my story. I’m gonna call the doc that originally looked at my ear and see what he says. I think I need an oral anti-biotic, but that’s just my guess.
But there’s still more information…
Sara: I have to reach I think it’s, $2,500 before kaiser will start paying for my shit. ya know what’s funny too- since i got my prescriptions written by a doctor who was “out of the network” i had to pay full price for them, even though I got them filled at Kaiser and have Kaiser insurance. how the hell does that make sense? Kaiser is so fucked up
me: Kaiser doesn’t have a prescription discount???
Sara: ah, they do if your prescription was written by a Kaiser doctor, but not if it was written by someone else.
me: boooooooooooooooo
Sara: seriously! jessea just sent me this link: eHealthInsurance. she said they have everything… hmmmm
me: I hope you can get something affordable that isn’t jacked up like Kaiser.
Sara: me too… god I hate kaiser
me: I’m sorry PBY… kick em to the curb!
Sara: I’m going to… i’m done with Kaiser… i hate them anywayz, aside from all this other shit, those assholes told me I had cancer then made me wait 2 months before I could get in to get a biopsy done!
me: ???
Sara: I didn’t know better to think that they were just being assholes, so i really thought i had cancer! They told me that one of my pap tests came back positive with cancer cells and that i needed to make an appointment to get in and have a biopsy done. only, i couldn’t get in for two months cuz they were booked!
when i got in i told the dude that did the biopsy what they told me and even HE was mad. He said they do that a lot to scare people into making an appointment and that my test had probably just dried on the slide. there was nothing wrong with me. i was PISSED
me: wow
Sara: seriously, my boss (cuz i was in shipping then) Nick was furious! i was in his office crying cuz i thought i had cancer… it was fucking horrible
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