Feel Me Don't You

I, too, cannot believe how long this has gone, especially since almost half of it comes from a guy who is proud of three ways he can misspell fuckturd.

Wow, 47 responses… yeah, think that makes this the most popular thread. I’m surprised that there haven’t been more people jumping in to point out what an f-tard Heimer is. Maybe it’s simply a matter of that rigor mortis horse laying there.

Congratulations everyone… people talked to you. Sounds like you’re pretty proud. Must be something new for you, huh?

Mo, very clever. Did everyone help you with that one or did you come up with it all by yourself?

That’s a good point “everyone.” If I’m not mistaken, this is one of Pete’s most successful threads and all because Heimer’s an idiot.

you know what is funny? the fact that so many people have let me know how funny this thread has been. apparently you’re the only one who’s missing out on the joke. mostly because you’re the one who is the joke. so, please please please keep making your hilarious comments…on this thread and others! it’s keeping us all very entertained. thanks again!

Wow, the laughs keep on coming don’t they? It’s open mic night down at ComedySports, with zingers like that I guarantee they’d have a spot for you.

Aww, poor Heimie isn’t being amused. Someone give that extra-chromosomed helmet wearer something shiny, please.

Thanks.

Yeah, that guy is a (self-proclaimed, allegedly) genius.

Can someone else with something funny to say help this toolbox out? Where’d the guy with the herpes smack go?

See, doesn’t it feel good to admit when you’re wrong? You should get used to that.

Yawn. Fine, you restocked on your lame smack early in the evening. Good for you.

Now you’re just not making any sense. Overnight? If you’re referring to my last post, it was made yesterday. I know that’s confusing and hard to figure out, but if you look real close…at the bottom of the post…after the name…you’ll see when the comments were added. Now here’s some more help, today is August 4th. Yesterday was August 3rd. Also, on a particular day, AM comes first, followed by PM.

Are you stupid? Just clueless? Not very good with attention to detail? Is it ADD?

Any way you look at it, it’s just like how this all began……….with you being wrong.

Nice to see you restocked on more lame smack while you were licking your wounds overnight.

Take your time, Pete, my friend. Heck, as busy as you are with all your activities, you would have to sacrifice quite a bit to make time for a strong relationship right now, I would surmise. It’ll happen when you least expect it (or want it in some cases! )

well there you go again, heimer. lashing out at females. i’m seeing a pattern here. growing up, did daddy hit mommy? these things are often generationally cyclical. break the chain, heimer! only you can do it! you stupid fuck!

Does Heimy need a time out?

Now we’re getting somewhere… participation.

That makes absolutely no sense Mo. Good job. I’ll use my own words for you Mo… you are retarded, don’t write anything on here again unles you have someone that is actually literate proof it for you.

“Hey you dumbass, did you NOT read Pete’s comment? “Your ANCHORMAN is showing”? I’m quoting from what is one of the funniest movies around and you’re too fvcking inept to realize it.”

It’s hilarious that you’re making fun of everyone by quoting someone else making fun of you. It’s classic! At least the rest of those in this thread are creative enough or “clever” enough to use their own words. Besides, if everyone here is beneath you and this thread is stupid, why do you keep coming back for more?

Do you need a hug? Not enough love as a child? Is this your inner boy acting out for attention?

Hiding? Isn’t that what someone does when they don’t want to be found? Like you for example. Me and my man boobs are on display and public record for all to see and ridicule.

This is one of the most awesomest threads ever!

if you need to hide behind movie quotes (from a marginally funny movie, i should add) to cover your violent, misogynistic tendencies, well…whatever helps you sleep at night, i guess.

Hey you dumbass, did you NOT read Pete’s comment? “Your ANCHORMAN is showing”? I’m quoting from what is one of the funniest movies around and you’re too fvcking inept to realize it.

This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what?. You got knocked up.

whether i’m a man or woman is really inconsequential. so you think i’m a woman? well, that says a lot. especially when you keep making physically threatening comments.

so it sounds to me like you really want to smash a lady’s face into a windshield, punch a woman in the face, and slap a female in public.

you’re quite the prize.

maybe i am a woman. maybe i’m a 5’0″, 90 lb. female. knowing that, i still stick by my original comment that there’s nothing about you that is physically intimidating.

keep suckling.

“man-boobs”? I think you’re confusing me with that tubby bitch Pete.

Jesus, I thought I’d seen your babbling, moronic diatribe on here before now I’m sure of it. What are you, a chick? No one talks for that long without saying anything.

“Mumble mumble, i win, babble babble, i win, mumble mumble babble babble, win win win.”

Uh-oh Heimer, your Anchorman is showing again.

I’m going to smash your face into a windshield. Then i’m going to take your mom out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her back.

Well I CLEARLY struck a nerve, then, didn’t I? You’re hilarious. Hilariously self-absorbed, that is. You don’t get much, do you? Not surprising, since that’s how this all started. You were too clueless to recognize the difference between someone labelling someone else and a self-labeling.

You sit here and say how it’s all a joke to you, with your schoolgirl giggling and your comments being intended to be taken with a smile, yet you also want to physically harm me. Punch me in the face? Slap me in public? You’re a child.

Here’s the real problem: You say “my comments are sarcastic, clever, sometimes harsh but overall are intended to be taken with a smile.” I think that’s a lie. I think you know it. Your comments are arrogant, mocking, and occasionally threatening. Not seriously threatening, mind you, as not an ounce of me is physically threatened by you. I mean, really, have you seen yourself?

But come on, you’re so threatened by my pseudonym that it’s caused you to nearly have an aneurysm. No one’s sitting here waiting for you to post. And no one’s proud of “standing up to you” (your words, not mine). There’s no need to be proud, it’s not that hard. That would imply that someone was scared in the first place, and had to muster courage to “stand up to you”. I know that’s what you’d like to think, but you have a much greater impression of yourself than I do. And over a pseudonym…a nom de plume if you will. And to think I only used it originally because it amused me. And maybe Josh. I don’t NEED to use it. I only continue to use it now because it so clearly aggravates you. I like teasing you. You’re such an easy target because of diatribes like what you just posted.

The best part is that this one will cause yet another! Either that, or you won’t post at all, hoping to “get back at me” yet it will only serve to annoy you more! I love it. I win! But then again, that was never in serious doubt.

You can continue calling me names if you’d like. We can get into that, and I’ll prove to be better than you at that, too, if you’d like. I’m growing tiresome of this thread, actually. I’ll probably just wrap this up and ride off into the sunset. And you can go back to thinking you’re better than others, when in fact you’re not. You’re just a weak, pathetic, and boobied-man-girl who needs to suckle his own boobies for the strength to cry his way through his pathetic beast-life.

I win.

“I will take the time to say that every time I post on here I giggle like a school girl b/c my comments are sarcastic, clever, sometimes harsh but overall are intended to be taken with a smile.”

Heimen-
First of all, you can’t call your own self clever, secondlly… no one could call you clever, because you’re simply not.

Third, the only one giggling or taking anything in with a smile was your mom last night.

Now are you all convinced of the sheer genius that is Heimer?

Its my sophomoric way of spelling FUCK without a U so I won’t trigger everyone’s email or proxy server warning systems. When I’m feeling a little lighter I spell it “focktard”. When I’m working with scholars I go with the more scientfic “phucktard”. When I’m talking to dumbasses I go for the more traditional Roman spelling “fvcktard”.

what’s a “fvcktard?”

“everyone”, you’re gutless b/c you don’t post with your real name. I’m finally glad you caught up to what I was slamming Pete about, I was afraid I was going to have to draw you a picture and punch you in the face with it. And if you can’t see the irony in me sharing with you someone telling me how sexy I am (in this thread) then you’re a dullard in addition to being a first class fvcktard.

As for the comment after that, I’ll let someone else explain it to you. Maybe this will help. You have a dirty whorish mouth. I’d like to slap you in public. Why don’t you go back to whore island where you came from?

I will take the time to say that every time I post on here I giggle like a school girl b/c my comments are sarcastic, clever, sometimes harsh but overall are intended to be taken with a smile. Part of me is laughing b/c I know pathetic, sensitive, over analyzers like yourself are going to come flying in to tell me how mean I am under cover of a pseudonym. I’m giggling now b/c I know you’re waiting at your computer breathlessly, so proud of yourself for standing up to me, knowing that you’re so right, not even seeing that I’m continuing to mock you.

If you anyone wants to exchange insults and/or slams please feel free, it makes me smile. Who wrote they wished that I die of herpes? Thats the funniest shit I’ve seen on here in months.

everyone here. I’m back.

Wow. I really stuck in your craw, didn’t I Heimie. So I’m the gutless “fvcktard”, as you put it? I don’t see it. Sounds like defensive lashing out to me. I called you out for your error and you got pissy.

Also, the irony of your subsequent posts would make Alannis Morrisette rethink her song. You rail on this guy Pete for what you *perceive* to be his self-aggrandizing comments, then turn right around and claim some woman calls you the “most sexy man she’d ever seen”, following that by tagging yourself as “kind of a big deal” and “very important”.

Your hypocrisy would be laughable if it weren’t so ludicrous.

I would think that she either needs corrective vision surgery or she has terrible taste in men, but that seems like the easy answer.
*shrugs*

I think you’re an asshole and I wish you’d die from herpes.

Randman, I don’t know how to tell you this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Hey “everyone”, you gutless fvcktard… You know last week a beautiful young lady told me I was the “most sexy man” she’d ever seen.

What do you think about me when you read that?

Heimer would be “Kansas City’s most self important bachelor” if he weren’t already
destined to die alone!

i have no idea what this guy is talking about. i gave a speech for nick and, in it, i referred to pete as “kansas city’s most eligible bachelor.” i even pointed to him and everybody clapped. i’m afraid i can’t see where the confusion comes in. pete never called himself anything.

i’ve never had a hard time distinguishing between someone being “referred to as” and someone calling themselves something. anyone else? that’s what i thought. i guess its just you, heim. but then again, we should have expected it. why take the time to actually provide some real comment when it’s easier to attempt a cheap shot.

typical.

Uh… huh? I’m pretty sure in your blog you tell everyone you were referred to as the most “elligible” bachelor, misspelling included. Wasn’t talking about Mark’s comment.

Just go to the damn Bacon Shoe show tonight and find yourself a woman. Hotties *heart* Bacon Shoe!

No, if you had read the previous comments, you’d see that it was Mark. Any significant time means more than a couple months.

Did you just tag yourself “most eligible”? Jesus, are you still drunk or were they just giving free labotomies at the reception?

How long is any significant time? Three weeks?

You’re a loser for not being married! Go! Get married before its too late.

The only reason I referred to you as an “eligible bachelor” is because you’re so damn good looking. I was considering saying “Sexiest Man Alive” but figured that would sound too People Magazine-ish.