Committment For The King

Elvis Presley was rehearsing tonight at the Westport Coffee House for an upcoming gig. Yes, fans, he’s still alive. Not sure what to make of it, I mean I was in the presence of the King fer cryin’ out loud, I pointed my phone to the most popular brain dumping grounds, Twitter, to see what folks there thought it meant.

“The end of the world is upon us” was the grim reply. Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you, if you haven’t made peace with your loved ones, do so now. If you haven’t made love with your peace ones, do so now. Seriously, you don’t want the world to end without all your affairs being in order. I’ll wait while you take care of your busniess. Done? Ok, then we can proceed.

I was inspired during Tantrum rehearsal and committed the f*** out of the new workshop drills that Trish & Nikki brought back from the Twin Cities Improv Festival. During a scene with Megan, when she asked for my shirt, I peeled it off and handed it to her. When she asked for my shorts, I dropped them and handed them to her. That left me in a pair of boxer briefs and tennis shoes until “scene” was called. Note to self: must work out much more. Later, when another exercise called for a monologue, I launched into one about my connection with the car that I had taken in for repairs and how we had been through so much together – like a cross-country road trip from Illinois to California where I picked up a hitchhiker on the side of the interstate and had sex with them in the back seat of the car. It’s about committment people (that’s committing so much you have to add an extra T)!

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3Pete

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

You didn’t know I had such sweet moves. Did you?
(/nod Jamie & Craig)

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Moon Over The K

moon_over_theKI went to the K tonight to celebrate Linda Williams’ birthday. It has been an annual tradition that I’ve been unable to join in on for the past couple of years. No matter where the Royals play on her birthday, she goes to see them. We’ve had some very interesting adventures here in town and with several friends out in Cleveland in years past. This year was a bit more sedate. The Royals must have sensed that and played accordingly.

Seriously, these are major league players getting paid major league salaries. You’d think that an easy throw from first to second to start a double play wouldn’t wind up in left field. You’d think that and would be wrong! Brian Bannister was doing a good job holding the Twins down until that error put Mauer on third base and Morneau on first. Things even looked promising when Bannister struck out Kubel, perhaps luck would favor the Royals with a double play and they could get out of the inning unscathed. No, their hitters know how to sacrifice runners across the plate. They know clutch hitting, unlike the Royals who failed to advance runners with the bases loaded and only one out! Thank you Mitch Maier and Tony Pena Jr.! They didn’t choke when multiple times there was a runner on second with no outs or only one out. *Sigh* I have been very frustrated lately and watching this team just seems to make matters worse.

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Let’s Make A Deal

Something happened this past Saturday that has finally pissed me off enough that I can’t stay quiet. I was supposed to meet my friend, George (his name isn’t really George, but I will spare him the embarrassment of using his real name), for lunch at a restaurant down in the southern part of town – down near Olathe. The restaurant isn’t important to the story, the important piece of information is that it takes around 35-45 minutes (depending on traffic/construction) to get there from my house.

I arrived a few minutes early and went in and got us a table. The waitress came by and took my drink order, but I told her I was waiting for my friend before I would order any food. A few moments later, I was sipping on a Diet Coke and wondering where George was. He was only a few minutes late, so I thought perhaps he had gotten stuck in traffic and sat back and watched the various TV’s for sports highlights and scores. The waitress came by again and asked if I was still waiting for my friend. I looked at my watch and George was 20 minutes late. I told her I was still waiting and sent a text to my friend to see if he was stuck somewhere. Before I knew it, I had sipped through the remainder of my drink and still I had no answer from George. I was concerned about George, who is usually good about getting in touch with me. When the waitress came back around, I was hungry so I ordered and figured when George arrived I would just sit and talk since I might just have my meal finished by that time. I fired off another text to see what was up. In the immortal words of Phil Collins (from the Abacab album), “No reply, there’s no reply at all.”

By the time I had finished eating, I had been sitting in the restaurant for an hour without hearing from George. Now I was still concerned as I ate, but also growing more angry. I paid my bill and apologized to the waitress for taking up one of the tables when I could have just sat at the bar. She was fine with it and told me not to worry about it. As I headed out of the restaurant, I called George and got his voicemail. I left a message asking if he forgot that he was supposed to meet me. I tried to be polite about it, but I think a little anger seeped in. I headed home and, once here, began poking around for ways to update the look of the blog. A few hours later, I got a call from George who, to his credit, apologized for missing lunch. I asked if he was ok and he said he was. O…k…a…y… I asked what happened and he informed me that he got a call to do something else so he did that instead. It wasn’t an emergency, it was just “something else”. I told him I was glad he was ok and hung up. I was pissed. Truth be told, I’m still a bit pissed about being blown off and wasting a little over 2 hours. I could have gone to meet another friend, but I had to decline and informed them that I had other plans and asked to meet up another time.

The next time I speak to George, I will tell him this, “Let’s make a deal. If you respect me and my time, I will respect you and yours. If you aren’t going to be able to meet me, please have the common courtesy to at least inform me that your plans have changed so I don’t sit around waiting for you for hours. I promise I will do the same for you. We’re all busy people and we often have things that pop up, so please just tell me. Call me. Text me. Whatever. I’m an adult, I understand things happen. Don’t just blow me off thinking, ‘Ah, he’ll be ok’ (if you even give it a second thought that is), because the next time I might not be so polite. In fact, there might not even be a next time as I will wonder if I can trust you to do what you say (likely I won’t be rude and say that out loud, but I will think it). Once again, I will respect you and your time if you will respect me and mine. Thanks!”

While I’m thinking about it, on a somewhat related note…
If I ask you (friend, co-worker, relative, random person I just met who says you really want to see a show) if you’re coming to see a show, please don’t say yes if you have no intention whatsoever of doing so. If you have other things to do or are just saying “Yeah, we really want to come see you” because you think it’s the polite thing to do, that’s ok, just be honest. Again, I’m an adult and understand if you don’t want to see the show. Not everyone does. Thanks.

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To: Caesar, From: Van Gogh RE: Blue Velvet

Yesterday was a day of multitasking. While looking for new themes, I was also looking up the effects of stress on the body. From dealing with the understandable nervousness right before Jeni visited me and various things from work, it’s been an ongoing issue that has led to muscle stiffness, back pain, headaches, stomach problems, and insomnia. Granted, I’ve been fortunate enough that they all haven’t hit me at once and I am extremely grateful for that. However, it brings sharply to mind that I haven’t been dealing with it properly and it has been slowly taking its toll on me.

We all have stress in our lives, everyone knows that and every website will reiterate that fact. Those sites are also quick to remind you that a certain level of stress can be beneficial as it helps you perform under pressure, motivates you to do your best, or will protect you in a “fight or flight” situation. It’s extremely damaging, however, when it’s prolonged. So how do we go about managing stress to avoid those extended bouts? By understanding the signs.

I won’t go into all the details here, because frankly, if you want to know more, you can click the links. I am surprised, though, at one of the top stress tolerance factors listed on several sites:

Your support network – A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer against life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.

I can vouch for this. I’ve been on both sides as I had isolated myself for years and then, more recently, opened up to friends and loved ones. I closed myself off to those around me thinking that everyone has their own problems to deal with and I shouldn’t burden anyone with my petty issues. It wasn’t until I opened up a little that I discovered that there were many around who genuinely wanted to help, or at least to lend me an ear. Those people were quick to remind me that I had often listened to their problems so how could they not want reciprocate? Friends, family members, significant others, they honestly wanted to lend me an ear.

It’s funny to me how we forget that we have those support systems around us so frequently because we turn a blind eye or a deaf ear as is the case. We ignore the friend who wants to help out because we got them through many a tough spot. We disregard the family members who truly want nothing but the best for us as they help us regain our footing after we’ve stumbled or even fallen down. We turn our backs on our spouses or significant others, the ones who have been there to support us in the past and want to continue to do so if only we will allow it. For whatever reason they are ignored or forgotten, it’s important to remember that those support systems still exist to assist us in times of need. No one needs to go it alone.

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Feeling Blue

fmdy_blueI’ve been pretty stagnant with regard to updating the ol’ blog. After looking through a metric crap ton of themes, I finally landed on “Win7blog” and “Bloxy Two”. I guess I’m feeling blue today because these two are the only ones that caught my eye. Give ‘em a try and if you have any problems, let me know.

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You Go To My Head, My Radiohead

Well before YouTube had any versions of this track from Radiohead’s much celebrated Ok, Computer, I wrote a piece for the stage (for Monkeys With Hand Grenades). Seeing all these versions makes me want to get mine filmed just to see how it stands up to the others. If only I knew some people who could film it. Here is the text from the stage version (if you want to use this, ask permission and we’ll talk… to Radiohead):

Fitter Happier
by
Pete Calderone
(Based on Radiohead’s Fitter Happier)

Cast:
Soulless Automaton – Pete
Ambivalent Wife – Megan
Ungrateful Kids – Andi & Jeff
Road Rage Motorists – Randy, Dough, Pearl, and Linda
Smarmy Co-worker – Nick
Uncaring Boss – Clancy
The Sun and The Moon – Todd

(In the blackout an alarm clock is heard. As the alarm clock is slapped off, “Fitter Happier” begins and lights slowly come up to full. All scenes will be performed with all performers moving in fast motion except the Soulless Automaton who is always in slow motion. The Sun and Moon continually cross from stage right to stage left during the scenes.)

SCENE ONE: THE DAILY RITUAL
(center stage – S.A. stares ahead blankly) The Soulless Automaton and Ambivalent Wife awaken, get dressed, and prepare for the day ahead. (the scenes transition through multiple rooms in the house) The Ungrateful Kids fight for bathroom time and hurry through breakfast. They scurry out the door scarcely acknowledging S.A and A.W..
(fade out and up)

SCENE TWO: THE POINTLESS WORKOUT
(S.A. stares ahead blankly) S.A. is jogging at the gym while all around him vigorously work out (one person on an exercise bike, one jogger on each side of S.A. and one pumping iron).
(fade out and up)

SCENE THREE: THE MIND-NUMBING WORK DAY
(S.A. stares ahead blankly) S.A. goes about his normal work day while the Smarmy Co-worker hangs around his work space cracking jokes and getting no work done. The Smarmy Co-worker slips away as The Uncaring Boss approaches and gives a lengthy scolding before firing S.A.
(fade out and up)

SCENE FOUR: AFTERNOON DRIVE
(S.A. stares ahead blankly) The Road Rage motorists zoom in and out of traffic, cutting others off, and wildly gesticulating as S.A. drives home.
(fade out and up)

SCENE FIVE: THE END
(S.A. stares ahead blankly) S.A. enters his home just in time to see The Ambivalent Wife and The Ungrateful Kids finish up their meals and go their separate ways without noticing him. S.A. eats his meal and heads to his bedroom where he pulls out a gun, places it into his mouth, and fires.
(Blackout)

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A Chip Off The Ol’ Writer’s Block

I feel off. The creative writing that recently seemed to flow effortlessly now has dried up. If not for Craig and his Suggested Listening post (thanks again, pal) and me half-heartedly throwing up some thematic YouTube videos, there would be nothing for you, the casual reader, to waste your time scanning. I have lost my drive. As in the past, I could use someone to a’ muse me (I am soooo sorry about that pun. Blame the brain squirrels!). Hm, looking back on that advice, I can honestly say that I’m not interested in hitting “the Lady”, rehashing the same old ethnic jokes, and I am trying my damndest to break my cycle of insomnia. Actually, one night my body just shrugged off the Simply Sleep that I took (overall, though, it’s done a pretty good job – thanks Kim!). Clearly, I must be following Joe’s “stream of consciousness/mind dump” (like Tweeting with more characters – oh boy!) idea.

Even though the Royals have managed to break their losing streak and, in fact, just took their second one-run game from the Astros, I don’t really feel much like writing about them. Perhaps you might be interested to know that I finished a book Jeni (thanks again!) loaned me not too long ago called Spook: Science Tackles The Afterlife by Mary Roach. From the introduction you learn:

This is a book for people who would like very much to believe in a soul and in an afterlife for it to hang around in, but who have trouble accepting these things on faith.

That seems right up my alley, right? I’ll tell you, though, my first impression was that the book was very dry, almost to the point of boring. Her first chapter, for me anyway, just laid there in a mass of “try too hard” jokes as she recanted her tales from the Reincarnation Nation. It nearly made me put the book down. I’m glad I didn’t because successive chapters became much more interesting and the jokes less ham-fisted. Perhaps you can chalk it up to me just not hearing her voice in that first chapter and I wouldn’t think you were too far off. It’s possible. I will give Ms. Roach credit in that she certainly immersed herself in the studies and methodologies used to qualify and quantify the soul. Ms. Roach isn’t out to prove or disprove the afterlife or any other such lofty aspirations, she’s merely your guide on the rollercoaster ride of edu-tainment. Pick it up and let me know what you think.

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Waiting On The Corner Of Memory Lane And The Road Less Travelled


Wow, Luke Skywalker really let himself go!


Life can always be made better with backup singers in gold dresses.


There’s so much pure pop sugar in this, just watching it will give you cavities.


Note to self: stop screwing around and watch this film!


Aw yeah, baby, a Hammond organ.

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Suggested Listening

Fear Is On Our Side

I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness
Fear Is On Our Side (2006)

ILYBICD is a five-piece dark pop band formed in Austin, TX in 2001.  Fear Is on Our Side was released in early 2006 and was produced by Ministry bassist Paul Barker.  Danceable-yet-gloomy tracks alternate with slow and introspective melodies and both styles are the perfect backdrop for the bleak, distant lyrics.
One of my favorite tracks is According to Plan.

You might like it if you like: Joy Division, Talk Talk or The Cure (early 80’s).

Girls Can Tell

Spoon
Girls Can Tell (2001)

I’ve been a follower of Spoon since 1996 and it’s been fascinating to see the many turns they’ve taken along the way.  Initially Spoon seemed more focused more on the rock and less on the production, but that has changed immensely in the past decade or so.  Girls Can Tell finds the band rebounding from a horrible experience with Elektra Records and ready pick up and move on with the help of producer Mike McCarthy.  Any Spoon album from this point on tends to place more importance on production, and with astounding results.
One of my favorite tracks is: Everything Hits at Once

You might like it if you like: The Pixies, Wire or Pavement.

Brighten The Corners

Pavement
Brighten The Corners (1997)

Clever, cryptic, literate lyrics are never in short supply on a Pavement album.  Known for their brilliant, yet spastic and disjointed melodies, this album was less noise and more focus than previous releases.  I still regard this band as one of my all-time favorites.
My favorite track on this album is: Shady Lane

You might like it if you like: Sonic Youth, Guided By Voices or Sebadoh

Marquee Moon

Television
Marquee Moon (1977)

When this album was released in ‘77 there was nothing else quite like it.  More than 30 years later, I still haven’t heard anything else like it.  For anyone who isn’t familiar with this album, or even this band, I have three words for you: Classic.
Here is a shortened version of the title track, Marquee Moon.

You might like it if you like: David Bowie, Talking Heads or Can

VAST - Music For People

VAST
Music For People (2000)

VAST (Visual Audio Sensory Theater) is basically a guy named Jon Crosby.  There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t like this music, but I always seem to find more reasons why I should.   A great mix of rock, electronica, industrial, acoustic and ambient.  There’s enough going on here that it could appeal to many people, but the other side of the coin is the wide range of styles could possibly turn some listeners away.
One of my favorite tracks is Lady of My Dreams.

You might like it if you like: Nine Inch Nails, U2 or Mellowdrone

- Craig Williams

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